Shira & Andy

OMG we're getting married!

Save That Date!

March 8, 2020

Alright, it’s finally official. March 8, 2020 is gonna be the big day! Get your plane tickets now, because Tampa is beautiful in March and Shira is beautiful all the freakin’ time.

Our story

For the die-hard fans among you, Shira and Andy have created a 3,000-word “summary” of their time together thus far. They hope that it titillates and inspires you, and possibly that it reminds you why you got married in the first place.

13th June, 2017

The First Time We Met

Shira: I decided to join the online dating site OkCupid in June 2017. I had been deeply involved in Mad Pride and disability justice activism for several years, and I did not want to hide this part of my identity during the dating process or compartmentalize it from my romantic life. Hoping to meet someone like-minded and accepting of all the things that make me unique, I highlighted my activism on my profile and encouraged people to message me if they enjoyed a little bit of crazy.

17th June, 2017

Our First Date

Andy: Our first date was… interesting. I had read some article about how you should do “Active” first dates because the whole “let’s get coffee” fad had run its course. I recommended go-karts, which in hindsight could have been the moment it all fell apart (Shira hates driving, not that I could have known that at the time). Instead, we settled on mini-golf, which is apparently more of a thing in the Midwest than it is in LA. There was only one mini-golf place that I could find, but I’d be damned if I let that stop me.

Fall-Winter, 2017

The Early Days

Shira: Despite my initial feelings that there was too much “small talk,” I quickly discovered that Andy is a deep, thoughtful, sensitive person. After our second date, Andy suggested that we make playlists of songs describing key moments in our lives. This gave me an opportunity to learn about some of the people and events that had shaped who he was and the obstacles he had overcome.

Spring 2019

When We Knew

Shira: After we had been together for a year, we moved across the country for me to pursue my PhD at the University of South Florida. Not even a semester into the PhD program, I discovered that a research career was not for me and decided to transfer to a Master’s level graduate program. Andy stuck by me through all of it. He was a huge source of support to me and helped me see that my worth was not dependent on my educational background/status/career prestige. It was then that I realized that I mattered to him because of who I was, not my accomplishments or resume. He truly wanted me to be happy – not merely impressive.

3rd July, 2019

The Proposal

Andy: Shira was to leave town for almost two weeks in the early part of July, and I decided that was my deadline. She would leave this town engaged. So I set up a “farewell dinner” for her at a nice Italian restaurant, and when we got home, I dropped to one knee. I had a whole speech planned, or at least a string of key points and relevant in-jokes and references to previous romantic moments. I managed to get out precisely 0% of it. I stuttered, stumbled, and finally just pulled out the box and looked at her meaningfully. It didn’t matter – she said yes.

Fall 2019

In Sickness and In Health

Shira: Even though getting engaged was one of the happiest moments in my life thus far, the months following the engagement were not free from turmoil. There were some intense conflicts with my biological family, and some past traumas resurfaced in ways I wasn’t quite prepared for. Around August, my anorexia flared up more severely than I had ever experienced. My physical health declined fairly rapidly, and I landed in the emergency room with heart complications just before Christmas.

This is what FaceApp thinks we’re gonna look like

Forever and Ever

Dreams of the Future

Shira: I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with Andy! I have found in Andy a true life partner and best friend, someone who I can share my deepest fears and biggest dreams with. While I usually consider myself a fairly pessimistic person, Andy has brought out in me a sense of optimism and hope for the future. I can’t wait to start a life with Andy and build a “tiny world” in which we can be ourselves and explore our passions. I hope to continue podcasting, watching and discussing films, and having in-depth philosophical conversations with Andy, as well as continuing to host our “Anti-Small Talk Meetup” in Tampa or another location. I also hope to expand our “tiny world” by eventually having children through adoption or fostering.