Shira: Despite my initial feelings that there was too much “small talk,” I quickly discovered that Andy is a deep, thoughtful, sensitive person. After our second date, Andy suggested that we make playlists of songs describing key moments in our lives. This gave me an opportunity to learn about some of the people and events that had shaped who he was and the obstacles he had overcome.
Andy: Messages with Shira got easier, but never less of an adrenaline rush. We quickly settled into a routine, where every Friday she would come over and I would cook for her, then we’d be off on some adventure the next day. But really, the best days were the days when we didn’t go anywhere. I had never been with someone I could just talk with like this. We had a hard time sleeping, because we would talk until late in the night and wake up early to do more of the same. Our trips were excuses to talk to each other with different backgrounds. We would drive right past our destination because we were engrossed in a deep exploration of what birds must be thinking, or how the economy really worked, or why people did the things they did. Shira saw the world so clearly and from such a different perspective than I had ever encountered. It was fascinating and intoxicating to bounce theories around with her.
Shira: I loved spending time with Andy because he accepted me for who I am, madness, disabledness, weirdness, and all, without trying to fix or change me. At the same time, I didn’t feel that I had to represent any cause or be anyone but myself. While in activist communities, there is sometimes pressure to represent one’s identity in a public way and perform a particular role, with Andy, I could just be Shira.
Andy: I still remember the first time we broke our pattern of spending time on the weekends. I was, once again, flushed and hiding in the corner of the storage room texting Shira. I said something like “I miss you so much, I literally can’t wait for this weekend.” She replied, “then why don’t you come over tonight?”
Whoa.
Pretty soon, we were at each others’ places every other day of the week, too. Which was really kind of a shame, because just a couple weeks before, I had dumped the aspirational queen-sized bed I got when I first came to LA and come to accept that I could only need a twin. Shira lived in a one-bedroom apartment with a roommate and her boyfriend, so things were a little cramped there, too. But it didn’t matter. None of it mattered, as long as she was there.
Shira: One of my favorite things about our early days was how much we laughed. I really enjoyed Andy’s word puns and silly jokes. Our time together was a refreshing break from some of the injustices and cruelties I frequently heard and spoke about as an activist. I remember those days as being filled with pure light-hearted fun.