Shira: I decided to join the online dating site OkCupid in June 2017. I had been deeply involved in Mad Pride and disability justice activism for several years, and I did not want to hide this part of my identity during the dating process or compartmentalize it from my romantic life. Hoping to meet someone like-minded and accepting of all the things that make me unique, I highlighted my activism on my profile and encouraged people to message me if they enjoyed a little bit of crazy.
Andy: I had been living the single life in LA for about two years before I met Shira. These days that means a lot of swiping, a few good messages exchanged, and the occasional first date. But on the whole, I was amazed at how lonely a city of 5 million people could feel.
Then one day, I got a notification on OkCupid – somebody liked me. Why? Who? This was such a rare occurrence. So of course I immediately checked out her profile. My first impression of Shira was that she seemed a little radical, but in a fascinating way that I had never encountered before. I figured this could be interesting, so I shot her a quick message and we were off.
Shira: On June 13th, I received a message from “Squirrelmaker” saying that “crazy worked for me” and asking about my writing. I quickly checked out his profile. I was intrigued by his passion for photography and the visual arts and wanted to learn more. I responded to his message and we started chatting.
Andy: Every message I received from her was a momentous, scary, exhilarating event that took precedence over just about everything in my life. I can only imagine what my coworkers must have thought – with zero warning, I would flush bright red, stand up, and disappear into the back storage room, where I would sit in the corner and veeeeeerrrrrry carefully try to craft the perfect response to Shira’s latest message. A little bit clever, a little bit jokey, not too serious now, but engage and show her that you’re really listening and really care. I absolutely could not mess this up.
Shira: Eventually, he sent me some of the videos he was working on, and I thought he seemed like a funny, kind, and creative person. We decided to meet up for mini golf that Saturday, June 17th.